Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Turkey Revenge Day Everybody!

Once upon a turkey there lived two turkeys named Fifi Feather-Brain and Beatrix Merry-Foot. Fifi and Beatrix were best friends, having known one another ever since they were born. Their families were very close, too, and every year the two turkey flocks would gather together at either Fifi’s or Beatrix’s house and celebrate Thanksgiving together. It was a time of thankfulness and for feasting on all of the delicious fruits and vegetables the two turkey families had grown that year. And occasionally it was a time for grieving for the friends and family members who had given up their lives just because a long time ago some stupid idiot, with no respect whatsoever for the turkey species, decided that due to the fact that they say “gobble, gobble” meant that he and everybody else in the world should eat them for dinner each year on the fourth Thursday of the month of November. Each year, turkeys everywhere try to keep their wattles (the attractive, red danglies that hang from their necks) up, but sometimes they just get so frustrated. They ask logical questions such as:
How superior do humans think they are?
How can they can ruin a turkey’s whole life by either shooting her or her family and friends, and not even bat an eyelash?
Why in the freaking world did they have to choose turkeys of all creatures? In fact, why do humans have to even eat animals? Why can’t we all be vegetarians?

And so on and so forth. Turkeys are actually extremely intelligent animals. They have a life, and a family and friends. They have jobs, educations and hobbies. They have likes and dislikes, friends and foes, good times and bad times, illnesses, holidays, emotions. They enjoy bubbles, their favorite foods, watching movies, chillin’ with their turkey peeps, randomness, sleepy time and epic fails. Turkeys everywhere just want to lead a long and successful life, but how can they if they're never given the chance? Just think about that today when you bite into that delicious chunk of juicy turkey flesh. Think about how you would feel if that turkey was your family member. Think about all of these things. But most of all, think about the fact that that turkey could have been YOU!

Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy it while it lasts, because turkeys have a special surprise in store for humans when next Thanksgiving swings around...


  1. Wow you typed ALOT! First comment yay!

  2. I love having first comments. Nah, not really. :P But it is cool! :P

  3. wow u r such a great writer sheesh

  4. LOL who's face is that, your dad's or something?

  5. Wow! That is epic LOL XD. Ya know, I think I saw you before sheesh4. I think you were a arctic wolf with a purple and white pattern with black spots. You took a pic of me then unbuddy me :(. If that was you and you want to talk about it without ppl knowing jamaa gram me! I am minecraft3907 ) ps. good writing i ALWAYS enjoy it.

    FWI i love my turkey and the bible says ppl are superior to animals and they can eat them ,but to be not over eating them