Sunday, November 25, 2012

Cannibals, Flaxuums and Other Dangerous Things

Cannibals, Flaxuums and Other Dangerous Things
I love October. In fact fall is my favorite season because it's so jovial. The excitement is building up for the coming holidays and everyone is in a festive mood. No one suspects a thing because they're all so busy being happy. And that is why I chose this particular month, the month of October, to commit my crime. I'd always been labeled as a troublemaker by my teachers. I don't know why because I always try my best to make a great first impression. I guess it could be because I tend to hang out with the "tough kids" even though that's not at all the type of personality I have. I'm actually more of a sensitive down-to-earth kind of guy. I'm half Latino because of my Mom and I have green eyes and brown hair. I'm not too bad looking, but I honestly don’t pay much attention to my looks.
Most of the time my mind isn't even on the people I'm hanging out with or the things I'm doing or the place I'm at. It's on when I'll get out of school and video games. My 16th birthday was two months ago on August 5th and I had been hoping that my Mom would buy me a Wii. Unfortunately no such luck, but I suppose I shouldn't have set my hopes that high. After all we're pretty poor and Wii's are expensive. Although she did buy me Space Monsters United for my birthday last year, which doesn't really seem fair to me seeing as I didn't even have something to play it on. My logic is that you should either buy the Wii before you buy a game or buy both at once. But apparently Mom didn't follow the same logic I did so I had to go to a "friends" house and play it on their Wii instead.
When did I get so into video games? That's a tough question, but I believe it was sometime after Spencer drowned when he was 3. I was 10 years old at the time and Spencer was my life. I was bullied most of that year, and he was the only reason I tried to get through the school day. I had always wanted a brother. The first time didn't turn out so good -- Kelly my brat of a sister was created and that's when life on Earth for all humanity began to slowly spiral downward. But the second birth, an angel was brought forth. I still can't believe how lucky we were that we were gifted with Spencer. Anyway, when he died I went into a total breakdown. I didn't eat for three days and I skipped school for a week. Dad had to go to work and even though he couldn't help it (we needed the money after all!) that's when our relationship began to grow distant. Since I was so distraught over Spencer's death, I guess I thought everyone else should drop everything and cry with me. A couple months after Spencer's death my Mom bought me my first video game, "Gooey Zombies From Your Backyard". I went over to my friend Ted's house. He was actually a real friend and we played it together. And from then on video games became my escape from reality, a sort of solace for Spencer's unfair demise. Which brings us back to the here and now.
Up until today I had always lived without a Wii and although I hated it, I had never actually thought of stealing one until about a week ago when one of my "friends" suggested that approach after listening to one of my famous ranting sessions. At first I was shocked, but on my way home from his house I began to turn the idea around in my mind. It had occupied my thoughts for the rest of the week and today I had decided that I would do it -- or at least attempt to. I had picked today as the day and so I was walking home from school, on my way to Ray's. It was getting a little chilly, even for October, so I zipped up my black windbreaker and pointed my head down like a shield to block out the wind. I reached Rays and walked into the store. Mr. Ray wasn't at the counter which was incredibly ironic seeing as every other time I had come into his store, he was there ready to help his next customer. And the one time he isn't at his counter, here I come ready to steal a Wii. No one else was in the store, fortunately, which made it a heck of a lot easier to get this over with. I quickly tiptoed over to the Wii section of the store so I wouldn't alert Mr. Ray that I was here and swiftly snatched up the closest Wii I could find. I honestly didn't care which one it was -- any Wii was like gold to me since I'd never even owned one before. It seemed like I was going to get away and I had almost reached the door when I heard a friendly hello, foreign to my ears which were anticipating a shout. I turned around, plastering on the most innocent looking face I could muster and came face to face with Mr. Ray.
"Did you have any questions Gabriel?" he asked.
"No, I was just looking around, Mr. Ray," I replied with my best pokerface.
He looked down at my hands which held the stolen Wii. Obviously I would have tried to conceal it from his view or put it back on the shelf or something if he hadn't appeared so suddenly when I was exiting the store. But I hadn't had the time to do anything of the sort so I had just held the Wii in my hands because I knew that would look a lot less skeptical than if I had attempted to hide it behind my back.
Mr. Ray gestured to the Wii in my hands. "Did you want to buy that?"
"Err… no I was just looking at it," I replied.
"Ah, I see. I suppose that explains why you were headed out the door with it."
Busted. I guess I should've known that my plan wouldn't have worked out. I guess since I'd been able to cover up my feelings about Spencer's death from my classmates, I had jumped to conclusions and assumed that I would be able to pull this off. Yeah right.
"Um, yeah" was the stupid response I was able to conjure up.
"Uh huh. Come in the back with me," he said huskily, roughly grabbing my arm and dragging me with him.
I tried yanking my arm away. "Mr. Ray you don't have to grab me. I'll come with you."
"I don't, do I? Well how I am supposed to know that a person who would stoop so low as to steal something from my store wouldn't also stoop so low as to run away with the stolen merchandise?" he retorted.
By that time we had reached the backroom and he motioned for me to have a seat on a stool. I did and then he spoke.
"I should be furious, shouldn't I? And I am but I'm willing to let you off, just this once, if you'll do me a personal favor."
I blinked, stunned, at him. This was news to me. I had thought for sure he'd be hauling me off to juvie. In fact I still thought he would and was trying to discern whether he was just toying with me before he turned me into the police or if this was the real deal.
"You must think I'm joking, crazy or perhaps both," he said as if reading my mind, "but it's a very important favor that I would rather not undertake myself, and this is the perfect opportunity to unload it onto someone else's shoulders."
An image popped into my mind of Atlas the Titan holding the sky on his shoulders for all eternity or at least until someone else took it from him.
I must have looked unconvinced or hesitant because Mr. Ray decided to work a little persuasion into his offer.
"Listen Gabe. I'm fine with whatever choice you make but think about it for a minute, okay? Even if my job is really horrible, which it is, which is worse? Going to juvie and upon release having your parents radiating guilt on to you for a good portion of your life, not to mention your own self guilt, or just doing the job? I'm not in any way, shape or form trying to deny that I'm angry that you tried to steal a Wii and completing the job does not include my forgiveness but it does ensure my not telling anyone about your attempted crime."
The guy had some good points and by now I was pretty convinced that he was telling the truth, that he really did have a job for me and that if I completed it, he wouldn't turn me in.
I took a deep breath and asked him to tell me what the job was.
Mr. Ray grinned. "Nice choice, kid. Okay, here's the nature of the beast, and by beast I'm being literal. I need you to clean my house and when I mentioned a beast it might even be something that hasn't been discovered by scientists as of yet. My house has not been cleaned since I moved into it, and that was," he scratched his chin, thinking for a moment, "8 years ago. Oh, and I'll be there in case you need to talk to me."
He turned around in his chair and rooted around for something in his desk.
"Here," he said, handing me a deformed-looking vacuum cleaner thingamabobber. "It's a flaxuum. A cross between a flame thrower, an ax and a vacuum. Well, that's pretty much all you'll need to know. And before I forget, you'll also need this," he tossed me a gas mask. "I'll drive you to my house."
"No, that's okay," I said. "If you give me the directions I can walk there myself."
"No, that was an order. First of all, do you know what a policeman would do if he saw you walking around town with that?" He indicated to the flaxuum. "And second of all, I live all the way across town and would prefer you not waste time that could have been put towards cleaning."
"Um, okay," I consented.
Mr. Ray opened the shop door, one hand gripped around my arm. It wasn't exactly a threatening grip. More like a fatherly grip which in all honesty was even more creepier. We arrived at his car and I got in the passenger seat. He got in and started up the car and we drove in silence to his house. He pulled into his driveway and we both got out of the car and walked to the front door which Mr. Ray unlocked. I walked in cautiously. The first thing I was greeted with was a disgusting smell. It's not really something I can describe because it smelled like a bunch of the stinkiest smells decided to get together and merge with each other and by the time they were through no one knew who was who. I didn't even know where to look and I certainly didn’t know where to start first.
There was a pathway through the USD (unidentified smelly debris) that led to a small room where I could actually see the floor. Mr. Ray caught me looking at it and told me that it was off-limits. He then bid me farewell and told me that if I needed him I should just holler his name, but whatever I did I should not go into that off-limits room. It was more than a bit suspicious but I wasn't about to get on Mr. Ray's bad side even more, so I nodded and he went into the other room. Since the only other clear space was the off-limits room I concluded that I would literally have to tunnel through whatever room I was standing in now so I could make myself a work space in the middle. It seemed like an impossible task until I remembered the flaxuum and it suddenly became my most treasured item. My pal that would help me with this horrific, seemingly impossible task. I then recalled that I had left the flaxuum in Mr. Ray's car, so I opened the front door and went back to his car to retrieve it. But when I returned I discovered that the door had locked behind me and I definitely was not going to annoy Mr. Ray even more by making him get up from whatever it was he happened to be doing to come unlock it so I decided that I would try to find an alternate entrance into his house.
I made three full circles around the house, scanning every visible inch of it, high and low. I was just about to give up and resort to knocking on the door, when I spotted a chute. It was really random and I'd never even seen anything like it. It was sort of like a rain gutter except it was way wider. Wide enough for even me to fit through, although that's not saying much considering I'm a skinny minnie. It looked decent in terms of cleanliness, at least the visible parts, so I decided to see where it led. I turned around to make sure no one was watching, (because how hilarious would it look to see the back view of a 16 year old boy trying to climb up a chute?) and then crawled inside.
It smelled kind of weird, sort of musty with a slight rotting aroma, but it didn't seem like that big a deal, so I continued to climb through it. But then the smell began to grow worse, like carcasses that had been left to sit in the hot sun. The chute was still clear, but the smell was almost unbearable. I remembered my gas mask so I reached for my jeans pocket where I had stashed it, put it on and then continued through the chute. The gas mask worked effectively and it was such a relief to breathe non-rotting air. But then all of a sudden my hand touched something kind of warm and gooey. I immediately yanked it back. There was hardly any light in the chute (I had been progressing through it merely by touch) but I knew that what I had touched was probably something really gross. I wasn't particularly enthusiastic about touching anything else but I guessed I was probably 3/4 of the way through the chute so I continued on resentfully.
Along the way I encountered tons of gross-feeling things. I'm not even sure which would be worse -- being able to see what I was touching or not. It reminded me of those Halloween touch and tell bowls where you put different things into bowls and tell kids that they are different body parts of some sort of monster like a witch. The kids get to stick their hands into the bowls and it's dark out so they can't see what they're touching. Eventually the dimness began to lessen, signaling to me that I had almost reached the top of the chute. I continued on until it opened up onto a pile of debris so tall that I didn't know where in the house I was, but I guess I should have expected that.
"Well, at least I have the flaxuum," I said out loud. I turned it on and thankfully it worked. It was actually kind of fun to use and worked like a charm, tearing up trash that could be torn, burning trash that couldn't be torn, and sucking all of the remains up. I kinda wished that it was sold in stores because it would be pro at cleaning my room.
Before too long I had made my way inside the house (I had been using the flaxuum from inside the chute until I had made a big enough space to step out into) and had carved myself a little work space. I selected a corner of the room and got to work.
While I was working I came across some really distasteful to say the least things, including a skull. I didn't know what kind of creature it belonged to but it looked fairly human.
"Huh. I didn't know Mr. Ray was a doctor," I said, placing the skull back where I found it because I didn't think Mr. Ray would want me to ruin it.
A little while later I had completely cleansed the corner of the room I had been working on of displeasing objects and could now see that the room I was in was the same room I had started off in, the one with the front door. Unfortunately the flaxuum was not able to extirpate the pungent odor but I guess that would of been asking too much of it.
I rested for a moment and then set about tackling another corner of the room when the flaxuum suddenly hit something. Judging by the noise it made I assumed that something was hard. The flaxuum sputtered a little and started spewing smoke which I did not take as a good sign. I silently cursed myself. I knew that if I was the owner of this wonderful machine and someone had broken it, I would be extremely pissed and I did not need Mr. Ray more pissed at me than he already was.
After a few moments of spewing the flaxuum came to a standstill and then went silent. I stopped and plopped down to think of what I could do. I didn’t know of any other machine that was capable of completing the task of cleaning Mr. Ray's house as efficiently and quickly as the flaxuum could. Definitely not a flame-thrower, an ax or even a vacuum. I needed a combination of the three which was the flaxuum, and since I didn't have the time, patience or frankly even the slightest fragment of desire to try to find those objects in all this rubble and then attempt to combine them in a way that they formed some sort of thing similar to the flaxuum, I determined that I would have to tell Mr. Ray that I had broken his flaxuum.
I recollected Mr. Ray saying he was in the "off-limits" room, and that I should holler his name if I needed him, so I did, but there was no answer. I tried again with the same result. I didn't know what to do. I really wanted to get his house cleaned as soon as possible and just go home, but I knew that he had told me that that room was off-limits. But desperate times call for desperate measures, the logical side of my conscience chimed in.
"I guess you're right," I voiced out loud.
I ventured tentatively into the off-limits room, making as little noise as possible. My life's motto at that moment was; you won't have a life if you don't find a new flaxuum and fast before Mr. Ray finds you. I knew of course that Mr. Ray wouldn't kill me if he found me in his so-called off-limits room, but I was pretty sure I'd be fired from the job and he'd turn me into juvie.
I surveyed the room quickly. I spotted Mr. Ray's car keys on the counter and then zeroed-in a closet that looked similar to the supply closet my Mom kept her cleaning supplies in at home. Thinking that if Mr. Ray even had a spare flaxuum he'd store it there, I walked over to the closet and opened it.
There, my eyes rested upon the most glorious thing they had seen all day! A flaxuum! But then to my utter disappointment I realized that this newfound flaxuum looked even worse then the one I had been using before, even in its current broken state. It appeared to be covered in some sort of dried red stuff which didn't look at all like paint or strawberry jam. The red stuff had texture and a kind of rotting odor much like the rest of the house only different. Kind of like what I had smelled in the chute before I had put on gas mask.
I slowly backed up but I hit something behind me. I thought it was Mr. Ray, but (thank God!) it was just a cabinet. I knew it was rude and disrespectful and that if Mr. Ray caught me I'd be in deep doodoo, but regardless of this I peeked inside the cabinet and found jars filled with… things.
The jars were labeled. One said "human heart", another said "human tonsils". Wow, I thought. Mr. Ray must be a serious doctor if he keeps these human parts in his kitchen cabinet.
I closed the cabinet carefully, but then I spotted a yummy-looking deformed roast on a silver platter sitting on the kitchen table. Warmth emanated off of it and I managed to catch a big whiff of it. The smell was unfamiliar to me and I bent closer to get a better look at the roast when I recalled that it kind of looked similar in shape to one of the diagrams my health teacher pounded into our heads every year. I held out my fist to use as a size comparison to the roast because my health teacher had also told us that human hearts were about the size of a fist. And it was the same size… Same size as my fist… Same shape as the diagram of a heart our health teacher had shown us… I was really freaked out now but just to make sure that I wasn't just imagining things or overreacting, I went back to the cupboard that held the human body parts and grabbed the jar that had been labeled "human heart". I brought it back to the table and looked at both of them side by side. And they were exactly the same.
I picked up the jar to return it shakily to the cupboard, after which I planned to run for my life out of Mr. Ray's house all the way to my own but my hands were trembling so much due primarily to pure fright and they were so clammy that the jar slipped out of my hands and crashed to the floor loudly.
There was a grunt from behind a door and Mr. Ray came barging through, alert. I guess he had been sleeping at the time I had come to the horrifying realization that he was a cannibal which also explained why he had not answered me when I called his name. And now I would probably never call his name again. I would never call any name. Because Mr. Ray was angry. He was a cannibal. He could clearly see me standing in the exact place where he had told me not to go. And he was headed right for me.
This is when reflexes come in handy. You know when the doctor uses that little hammer to tap your knee, and it comes kicking back up without any hesitation or thought? Well reflexes are kind of like that. They come involuntarily and right away. And sometimes they can even save your life. 
We had been learning about "fight or flight" responses in biology and that different organisms react to things differently by either running away or fighting back. I had always been the "flight" type of person, but I always felt like a wimp after I ran away from things. I had been trying to train myself to be more of the "fight" type so I could fit in better with my tough friends but it had not been going so well. No matter what I tried or did, I always ended up running away. Now I'm glad my attempts failed. Because if they had not failed I would have stayed and fought Mr. Ray even though the odds would've been so much against me that it wasn't even funny.
Instead I ran. I ran like the wind, like there was no tomorrow (which there wouldn't be if I didn’t escape!). I snatched up Mr. Ray's car keys which I had seen earlier on his kitchen counter, rushed out the front door, jumped in his car, started it up and stepped on the gas pedal. Hard. I had been taking Drivers Ed since 3 months before my 16th birthday so I knew how to work the gas pedals and all that jazz.
I sped away from Mr. Ray's as fast as possible, just barely avoiding oncoming cars. My heart was beating so fast. I don't know, maybe I thought that Mr. Ray would call the police and tell them I stole from his store or maybe it turned out that cannibals could run faster than 50 miles per hour. Whatever the reason for my racing cardiac it was beating way faster than it ever had in gym.
I wasn't zooming home because my Mom or sister were there because that would've been fruitless. Mr. Ray was a cannibal and more people wouldn't prevent him from doing what cannibals do best. I was whizzing home because the only thing I could think of to stop Mr. Ray was to shoot him and I knew exactly where my father kept his pistol.
I arrived at home, rushed into the house and ran to the place where I knew the pistol always was. And I guess this whole day was full of ironic things, because guess what? The one time I need it the most, Dad's pistol isn't there. I started to freak out because the only way I can think that I'll ever be safe is if Mr. Ray is dead. I decide that I'm going to have to get the police involved so I dial 911, punching in the three numbers with force, speed and precision.
Only I guess I accidentally dialed in 666. And then I hear a crash. Mr. Ray is at my door. And then it's all over.


  1. Good, but just remember. Whenever you do dialouge you start out a new paragraph. Ex:
    "Hey guys," said Jim.
    "What's up?" screamed Jill.

    Get it? Have an EPICLY EPIC day!

  2. Good so far! it's really long, and as much as I love reading, I haven't finished it yet. Perfect except for 3 things-
    1. what brimad8 said above
    2. it's basically one huge paragraph, and I don't know about your school, but my teacher would, like, faint. (I know, obssesion with language arts)
    3. I have no clue what jovial means. actually, that's a good thing because I'm in sixth grade, I have the vocabulary and reading level of an eighth or ninth grader, and I dont know it.
    So its really really really awesome!



  5. That is AMAZING!!! How in the world did you come up with this?!?! What happens next?!

  6. amazing sheesh AMAZING HOW DID U EVER COME UP WITH THIS?!?! U r AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAT HAPPENS NEXT!!!!!!!??????????!!!!!!!!! :O

    1. Thanks! It was my Honors English 1 short story assignment. I was looking online for story ideas and one of them was a mysterious stranger gives you a gift. And that's how I got this idea LOL. Nothing happens next. Gabriel is dead. >.<

  7. SO............ MR. RAY ATE GABRIEL!?!?!?!?!?!?! THATS SO CRAZY!! EVEN FOR A CANNIBAL!

    1. Um not really. Cannibals eat people. Not that crazy. >.<

  8. OMG THAT WAS SO... wow i have no idea what ti say... that made my heart beat as fast as a cheetah... i felt everything Gabriel was feeling... i was engaged... i am 10 and i am making my own adventure book, and i have writers block. i think you are my new ROLE MODEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. Wow thank you so much! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it! <33

  9. whoa,whoa,whoa what happened here? i am confused. *~*? -rainbowboogaloo

  10. I loved everything except this, the umm, use of some words...................- minecraft3907